The Raw is War Workrate Report

A weekly look at what worked and didn't work on Raw is War by Phil Rippa

Monday October 25, 1999

Raw was just kinda there this week. But it was still better than the big flaming pile of pooh that Nitro was. Of course, most people think Nitro was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Hey what do I know? I thought the whole point of these shows was to watch wrestling but I could have missed a memo or something.


What Worked
Edge/Christian vs. The Hollys. Well it wasn't exactly long. (A hot tag 45 seconds into the match. Come on.) But the action was fast and fun. Hardcore has busted out his high-flying teeth-rattling dropkick again which is nice. Christopher and Taylor show up and so do the Hardys. 8 guys who can wrestle = 1 good match at Survivor Series.

Test and Shane get all freaky as they both try to die by jumping off the top of the cage. Test wins that contest since the elbow drop had him landing right on his hip and it looked liked it hurt. The Posse will bump for anyone and once the Bulldog got out of the way everything was quite passable.

Right after I complain about Mick Foley not wrestling anymore, he has another good match with Triple H. Foley was wrestling circa 1993 as he does the hip buster and the hangman. I was waiting for little footnotes to pop up on the screen referencing pages in his book "Page #349 - This is the move Mick did that cost him his ear." I liked the bizarre psychology of Helmsley working over the arm to prevent the mandible claw. By bizarre, I mean that the mandible claw is a ridiculous move and it's not like Foley doesn't have two hands. The ending was screwy but it was wrestling and it was free and it was the WWF.


What Didn't Work
If the Big Load was any sort of man, he would have jumped the Big Bossman in the bathroom and clubbed him within an inch of his life. But instead he just stares and whimpers a lot while the Bossman insults the memory of his dad. Stupid Worthless Son.

If my math is correct when you add Moolah and Mae Young's ages together you will get the same number of boob jobs of all the women in the WWF.

That whole Acolyte segment sure wasn't wrestling.

Someone let Viscera on THE STICK. I was surprised first that he didn't mistake it for an ice cream cone then I was surprised he didn't mistake it for his cock.

Wow, the Godfather, Viscera, Mark Henry and Mideon all in the first Quarter Hour. Maybe Russo and Ferrera left some moles behind to help the WWF tank.

Oh boy, isn't Chris Jericho funny. Oh boy, isn't Stevie Richards funny. Oh Boy, aren't Chyna's boobs big. Welcome to hell D'Lo your week is gonna get worse.

I was thinking that the main event might make it to the top half of the column. Then I realized that I watched that match when I was half-asleep. Too much suck to climb that ladder. DX is back. Maybe now we will find out why Billy Gunn turned.


The Other Phil
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