Lex Luger gets dragged to a watchable match by a guy who has probably been wrestling ten years LESS than he has. Luger sucks and this match works up to the point where Luger goes on "offense".

Deep in my heart, I know this is an odd thing to say worked. Hey, they talk to Nitro Girl Tigress and- having a daughter- it works whenever I see a woman involved in the wrestling periphery who isn't using her huge beanbag-chair-enhanced BOOBIES to get her husband over to the fifteen year old midnight chokers. A Tigress interview isn't going to guarantee good wrestling which is all I demand of an interview so there is no legitimate reason to be in this column, but this actually made me think about the hierarchy of who I want my daughter to look for in positive role models and the meager WCW attempt is world's better than the hideous WWF alternative and the SUPER repulsive ECW alternative. I think the Spectrum Of Female Role Models For My Daughter should be (from best to absolute worst): Susie McConnell-Serio -Mother of four, high school basketball coach, pointguard for the Cleveland Rockers; Aja Kong- Raised by Japanese single mother after African-American Air Force father deserted them when Aja was an infant thus lived with DOUBLE stigma in closed Japanese society, survived tragic death of her mother, developed into one of the best women's wrestler of the last ten years and the best Monster ever, went on to form Arsion which continues to shape the profession she has chosen; Patsy Cline; Flannery O'Connor; Oprah; Debbie Harry; (fifty or sixty famous women); someone Tigress-esque; (fifty or sixty other famous women); Madonna; (several hundred thousand women of note); Sable; Chastity. Catherine Ann Porter and Carson McCullough fit in there somewhere between Flannery O'Connor and Debbie Harry. Hmmm.. Lessee, no US wrestling EVER, some ARSION and lots of WNBA and Southern Gothic Literature. Whither Joan Jett? Parenting is so NOT easy...:)

Okay. I'm INSANE. Did the Stevie Ray/ Horace match actually WORK?!?! Has Chavo and Disco REALLY gotten to the point where they can carry STEVIE RAY!?!? Horace Is real carryable but Stevie is a lost cause. Chavo and DI bump like mad men and supply the offense and they keep the third best working in all of the nWos in WCW in the ring (Horace) so this works. It's done totally with mirrors but it works.

Deep in my heart, I fear that Norman Smiley getting a push is a result of being a pal of Konnan's and the fact that if you are a luchadore and act like you are crazy WCW will push you- kinda. Luckily, Norman can go, as he is kind a quiet yet stiff worker. The Prince looks quite pushable as decent homegrown product that is becoming quite a good little cruiserweight. This was perfectly good wrestling.

Jericho and Duncum have the best of their series so far on free TV. Duncum, who is the eternal mediocre partner to someone who used to be great back in All Japan, may have found his niche as guy large enough and good enough in the ring to make a big name for himself in the US. Maybe I should hold out for more non-Jericho matches before making any more statements on the big Texan. Either way, this was pretty dang good.

Anything that is connected with Sonny Ono turns to total shit. I wish Bischoff would read his own interviews when he said that wrestling managers are passe- because the reason wrestling in US sucks such a large percentage of the time is because of the idiot need for the shittiness that wrestling managers supply- an example being the bush league screwjob witnessed in the Saturn vs Glacier match.

Deep in my heart, I know that DDP is not afraid to mail in a match at the worst time possible, and he mails this motherfricker in like it was the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. I know it's Kendall Windham and I didn't even like him when he was pre-felonous Stringbean Windham, but how about some effort, you suckasses. Everyone involved can eat my butt. Not ****1/2.

NOTHING could suck more than the entirity of the Booker T vs Konan match. Konan and Booker T have a little TV title match and then Nash the shithead booker decides that "Oh WAIT! Let's NOT have this match afterall" and sends out Stevie Ray to basically get Nash's ball and go home. What a giant shit-sculpture this was.

Deep in my heart, I want to see Benoit beat the hell out of SOMEONE on my goddamn TV TONIGHT but they decide to have an angle instead to set up Thunder (so that someone will actually SEE it as opposed to a Nitro match). Ric Flair comes out and gets on THE STICK and I hate it for TWO reasons: it's to set up a shitty gimmick match and it's SO not Benoit beating the shit out of someone.

The Giant who sucks and who should go over to the winners over at USA (where they seem to have seemlessly blended Roller Derby and the New Adventures of Sinbad into one big successful wad of sports entertainment) squashes Scoitt Putski in one minute. It's Scott Putski so I should give a fudge. The Giant then grabs THE STICK and I guess we should all be happy that he didn't eat it.

Deep in my heart, I know that Renegade isn't THIS bad. Wrath I figured on blowing the beefdart, but Renegade has had very competent matches on Worldwide where I've said, "this was ABSOLUTELY tolerable." The fact that Renegade had punches in this match that exposed the business as much as Lance Storm's worst chairshot sealed this matches fate as Sucking Even More Than It Was Supposed To.

Nash, who seems to have the booking savvy of Dusty Rhodes if Dusty was somehow even MORE clueless, kills their mark crowd and their mark viewing audience with the totally shitty Hall vs Steiner match, and then kicks the corpse of the mark crowd and mark viewing audience with the HIDEOUS three way. Hi! We're the mark crowd. And WE'VE BEEN KILLED! And hell, all us workrate freaks are watching old tapes of Super World Sport by this point of the Monday Night wrestling night so there is nobody left to watch the high-dollar guys prance around in the ring for five minutes. Nash should go all Terry Taylor on our ass and just book twenty clean pins and submissions on the Nitro Main Event because SHIT! look at the ratings for this debacle of a Main Event. It's not like anybody's gonna see it anyway. Hell, have iron man matches, exploding barbed-wire matches, have Lex Luger read the complete works of Rimbaud in French, it DOESN'T MATTER! Your MAIN EVENTS SUCK AND NOBODY WATCHES THEM.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.

main Workrate page

main nCo page