Dean Malenko and Rey Misterio Jr was really great despite the total idiot
screwjob. I'm glad to see that the BatB match was just Jericho sucking dick
and not Rey being actually physically umable to perform. I mean Jericho's
inconsistency will go away eventually because we've all seen him when he's
on, but Rey's knee is Rey's knee- they tend to not get any better. Malenko
and Rey do the frickin Santo- Casas mirror stuff even better than Juventud
and Rey do it, thus further compounding our suspicions that Malenko wishes
in his heart that he was born a luchadore. Then it went into the Malenko
ending and I freaked out. Rey RULES. Malenko RULES. My favorite part is
where Malenko takes it to the mat and YOU COULD TELL that he was gonna keep
it on the mat for ten minutes just get the rubes pissed off- because he
KNOWS with Rey in the ring with him that the ending is gonna be so AWESOME
that it always negates ANY ill-will the five variable restholds would
muster. But I guess he remembered the crappy screwjob ending and got it
back off the mat. This was great. Rey RULES. Malenko RULES. I want both
t-shirts.
Fit Finlay and Bret Hart was pretty cool. Bret realized that you best work
stiff with Finlay because he sure as fuck is gonna work stiff with you and
Bret comes around by the end and they start pasteing each other. This
should have been twenty minutes long and Finlay should have gone over since
he's the best wrestler in the world- but I'll settle for a decent Nitro
match between two great workers with a clean finish. Whatdyawant for nothin'?
Saturn vs Raven vs Kanyon was back on track to wrestling the style of match
that the BatB match totally ignored- that would be GOOD ECW as opposed to
the BatB exercise in BAD ECW. Hell, the ending was cop-out (SHIT! Kanyon is
RIGHT THERE! PIN HIM! SOMEONE! HE WON'T MIND!) but it was better than the
sheer irritation of the
Let's-Book-This-BABY-and-let's-BOOK-it-till-it-bleeds match on Sunday. I
guess with the crappy double countout during a triangle match with Raven
Rules, they wanted to compound the fact that Kanyon and Saturn really hate
Raven so... they beat each other up a lot? I smell idiot allegory to
correlate the Divide and Conquer Motif that Raven has mastered throughout
his whole existence and how evil and hatred breed division and sometimes in
our blind rage we cut off our nose to spite our face and... whatever, I want
an ending that doesn't look so bush league. On the other hand, they all
bumped like crazy and did all sorts of goofy crap- but it was goofy crap in
the right spirit so I was into it. The table spot was fabulous, as was the
super Sub-Doc-Dean-On-The-PRO
-But-Still-Better-Than-What-Usually-Passes-As-A Death Valley Driver by
Saturn. Welcome to The Decent Midcard Feud.
Rick Martel worked. Rick Martel is Fucking Awesome. Rick Martel dragged
something really close to watchable out of a totally horrible wrestler that
is Stevie Ray. I'm glad Martel is back and I hope he and Rey have matching
operational knees because WCW could use two guys of their quality. Martel
vs Benoit for the TV title already.
Disco on the mic was great and he and Alex made total sacks of shit Luger
and Nash look like they weren't the completely useless wheelbarrows of poo
that they actually are in the ring so this worked I guess. Alex Wright is
becoming REALLY good. Disco is really good. Get them out of the ring with
these two stiffs.
Well. You had that first whole hour of total shit. Everybody had really
long boring interview that sucked, they dustied the hell out of the
Cruiserweight belt and they later ruin the TV title. ALLRIGHT! What a batch
of shitheads! Then we get two matches and those two included the return of
total load, Meng (who looks like he is gonna FEUD WITH HIS TAG PARTNER! WCW
IS WILD! IT's LIKE ALL THE TAG TEAMS HATE EACH OTHER! THAT'S WILD!),
Horace Boulder finally figuring out how to suck, and, then, total sack of
shit Duggan went over the IMMENSELY MORE TALENTED Rick Fuller. Fuck Duggan,
push Fuller. Duggan needs to go back to mopping bathrooms or something. My
main problem with these two hideous matches was that the two best bumps were
by Rick Fuller and Jimmy Hart. Something is stinky and I think it was the
first hour.
DEAN.
HENNIG (who stinks) AND RUDE (who doesn't wrestle anymore) ARE <<
Was Scott Hall drunk during that interview? Golly, he's been packing on
the pounds. Was he in rehab for gravy addiction?
Eddy vs Mongo was good in that Eddy made Mongo look like less of a lummox
than he actually is, but it was ruined when they decide to continue the
Other Fucking Cruiserweight Feud That Will Not End And Screws Up Lot's Of
Perfectly Good Matches by bringing out the less funny every week Chavo (to
match the less funny every week Jericho). C'mon. Gimme SOMETHING here guys.
The fact that the Cruiserweight and TV titles were single-handedly ruined
tonight further emphasizes that there is only THREE belts that are REALLY
protected correctly and that's the Triple Crown in All Japan. And hell,
they put it on freakin Kobashi after one defense for Kawada. Okay, the JWP
Heavyweight belt is the protected and used correctly- it's on the best
women's wrestler on earth (Hikari Fukuoka) and her matches are awesome and
the title means something every time she wrestles. That's the only one
right now. Yep. Maybe King of Pancrase. But that's it. Yep.
DDP and the Disciple's match sucked dick. Leslie should no longer wrestle
where I can see him on TV and Hogan vs DDP isn't very promising now, is it?.
Hogan and Hall sucked also but they used the evil ref to full advantage.
But these two stink too much to make this any less horrible. YUCK.
And the Goldberg match sucked like it always does. It was Hennig so I
didn't care AGAIN the next day.
AND TO HELL WITH NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING! I <<<
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
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