The OtherArena

[eron]

This could very well be one of the worst WM cards in a long time.

So you got Umaga vs. Lashley as pretty much the main event. A hair vs. hair match is the main event to Wrestlemania. Lashley got beat up on Raw, so we know Vince is gonna get shaved bald, which really isn't what most people want. Most people want to see Trump get shaved.

Next you have the horribly built up double title matches of HBK vs. Cena and Taker vs. Batista. If I get to goto the Wrestlemania in which Taker has his streak broken by a 40 year old, I'm going to be pissed off. Not good when I'll then have to explain it to the girl I'm going with who doesn't watch wrestling. Even more pissed off. On the other side, you have the WRONG FUCKING MATCH. Why is this not Edge vs. HBK and Orton vs. Cena? Why are they still delaying Orton vs. Cena? Is it only important to me anymore that Cena and Orton have a major feud that blows off at Wrestlemania and not some other show?

Down the card, we got the only match I'm looking forward to: Money in the Bank. Jeff and Matt Hardy, Edge, Orton, Kennedy, Punk, Booker and Finlay. You got guys to take bumps and guys to lay out punishment. Works for me. It'll likely be either Edge or Orton winning, since they are the centerpiece to the match, but whatever. It'll still be the only really good match to watch.

ECW Originals vs. ECW New Breed is going to be shit. I'll admit to being a fan of Burke, a fan of Stryker and even a small fan of Marquis due to the fact his Pounce has been built up beautifully. However, there is nothing to really accomplish in them winning, as we know that with Punk in the Sting role, he is going to soon be feuding with the ECW New Breed and completely make the Originals disappear. Poor RVD and Sabu... wait not really.

Melina vs. Ashley. Where do they put that to give the fans a bathroom break? Between the title matches or before the Hair vs. Hair match?

Kane vs. Great Khali? Ugh.

MVP vs. Benoit could surprise me. I guess they had a really, really good 30 minute match on a House Show recently, and since I used to hear really good stuff about Antonio Banks before he became MVP, I'm not going to immediately pass judgment.

I bet there will be some sort of Cruiserweight match thrown in. Chavo, Kendrick, Daivari, Funaki, Helms, Noble, Yang, London, 2 Hotty and Moore with a surprise appearance by Rey Mysterio Jr.? I called it.

Some sort of Battle Royale containing Masters, Carlito, Benjamin, Haas, Nitro, Dykstra and whoever else is leftover from SD! and ECW would be good too. Everyone has to get their WM paycheque.

Wow, when I'm begging for a quick Battle Royale with Cruiserweights and midcarders, you know I'm grasping just as many straws as the WWE. Why couldn't I have been like everyone else and found tickets for Wrestlemania X-8? Ugh.

[corrado]

Yeah this card looks kinda putrid.

Battle of the Billionaires: The buildup to this completely overshadowed all the other matches combined, including both title matches. I see this as ending the card. The ending is very obvious. However the sick cynic in me wants to see instead of Steve Austin cut Vince's hair, Trump bring in Hulk Hogan to do the deed, setting up Heel Austin against Hogan for next year's Mania in Hogan's Orlando Florida. That may be the only match that can save this business.

HBK/Cena: They tried to build this up last night with HBK Superkicking Cena, but even that they couldn't get right as they CUT TO A COMMERCIAL after the Superkick. I'm pointing this out because this happened at 11:05. Then they replayed the kick and that was the end of the show. Yes, they wasted a commercial break instead of showing the impact of the kick. No wonder the ratings are disappointing this year. As for the match I see Cena retaining and for both Cena and HBK to stay faces with a respect handshake at the end. I don't see them turning heel any time soon.

Taker/Batista: Yeah this is going to be a real barnburner. To show how much this match will most likely suck, Batista has been wrestling very few times this past month and when he does wrestle it's awful. I think they blew this one by not turning Batista who is a much better heel than face. They could've had him be the Batista of his feud with HHH who was very smart and clever. Instead his promos have been some of the worst in recorded history. He just mumbles the same shit every week. Of course Taker wins. The fans riot if he loses.

MITB: I liked the Cutting Edge segment with each competitor cutting promos. The match though won't be as good as delivered. I see Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy. winning.

ECW Schmozz: New Breed will win and the ECW originals will be wished well on their future endeavors very shortly.

Melina/Ashley: Sadly Ashley. And much more importantly, Melina will be wished well in her future endeavors since she was alledgly told that if she can't make Ashley good, she's gone.

Kane/Kahli: The only good thing about this feud is Kahli's hilariously bad promos. And him yelling "Fuck You" when he assaults wrestlers. Kane wins when he uses the MAY 19TH HOOK on Kahli.

MVP/Benoit: I honestly don't see why people are dreading this match. I'm looking forward to this, quite frankly. I think Benoit can make this a great match. Still, MVP wins, and Benoit is off to RAW where he avenges his awful loss against Cena by turning heel and becoming the #1 contender to Cena's title.

I think that's all the matches they will have booked. It'll take an hour and a HALF on the Battle of the Billionaires. Entrances, match, post-match shenagians. And Poor Flair and Carlito. They were going to have a match at Mania but that was scrapped for no particlar reason. I bet that match would've been better than 3/4 of the Mania matches, seriously. Now they sit on the sidelines while the likes of Kelly Kelly, Layla, and Maria particpate at Mania.

[jdw]

I don't think there's ever been a Mania that I've cared less about. And I really haven't gotten fired up for the last few. Big "ugh".


John

[Iron Chad]

I couldn't agree more, even that whore Mick Foley with a new book out realized he could make better hay by waiting until *after* Wrestlemania to make a return to WWE.

I loved that "nobody saw the superkick on Cena coming". Just before the double knuckle shuffle, I said, "here's where HBK superkicks Cena", I was one move and about a second off.

I agree that was the stupidest commercial break in televised wrestling history at the end. The just climaxed the main event angle for WM, than promise more???? Hogan????? Rock?????? Nope, just a replay of what you just watched. Dumbasses.

-Chad
At least the ATHF movie is on Sunday

[corrado]

[eron]

[Paul Jacobi]

Wow....I'm actually pretty up for this card, much more so than last year.
True, match quality may not hold the promise, the build has been exponentially better this year, particularly in the last two months.
None of the matches seem just slapped together. Both title matches have been teased for several months, as has hair/hair....the MitB thing has been pushed fine too. Even stuff like the ECW 8- Man and the Women's match has several weeks of back story.
I've enjoyed the Cena/Shawn stuff a lot and I have little doubt they'll have a really good match. I'm sure the hair match will be well rehearsed enough to be fine, the MitB will be a fun spot fest, and that UT will work his ass off to get something passable out of Batista. Benoit/MVP's been getting good reviews on the road....Kane/Khali will probably be awful, but again, it'll probably be short and they've been pushing it for about a month now as well.
Plus all these guys will be working their ass off.....maybe I'll end up looking like a fool for being optimistic, but I really do think this show's going to be good.

-Paul Jacobi-

[jdw]

[eron]

To be completely honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I pretty much took off from watching Khali/Kane and Melina/Ashley. Doubt I missed really anything. Khali beating Kane with a double chokeslam felt like a burial to me.

The "dark match" was a load of crap. Carlito/Flair vs. I can't remember at the moment. It barely even utilized the lumberjacks. I would have much more preferred a battle royale, even if it had to be quick.

Money in the Bank was pure enjoyment. Hardy's legdrop to Edge outside of the ring laying on a ladder was insane, same to Kennedy giving Hogglesworth (Finlay's midget) his finisher off of the ladder. Great spotfest.

Benoit/MVP bored the crowd, but MVP really impressed me. I thought he was hanging in there with Benoit. Probably shocked a lot of net people that MVP lost.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed was disappointing. It was missing something. Oh, right, hardcore element. Had none. Was boring. Moving on.

Lashley vs. Umaga was pretty solid. Nothing spectacular, but nothing shit either. Austin played his role well. Shane coming in to spoil the show was great, and him hitting the Van Terminator even though he has gained quite a bit of weight since the last time he hit it was pretty cool too. Disappointing that the match had more hardcore/extreme elements than the freaking ECW vs. NB match. Vince definitely got a real shave, not a Kevin Nash trim. Was funny when Lashley covered his head with shaving cream. Austin should have soaked it in beer.

Oh, the whole "All Grown Up" thing is retarded, but seeing a 6 year old Austin chugging beers was all kinds of great. I wanted to see a Kindergarten Undertaker, kind of like what WWF Magazine did back in the mid 90's (I can't believe I fucking remember that...)

Speaking of Taker, his match with Batista was actually good. Batista was booed throughout it all, only time he got a break was when he running powerslammed Taker into the announce table. I was happy to see Taker keep his streak, and even beat Batista. Maybe someone younger should have that privelage, but hey, we got Kennedy (Who I'm warming up to now. I didn't care for him before and thought he was overrated, but I think I like his whole persona) for him to face.

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels was strange. Michaels came out to the DX theme, showing he refused to be booed in this match. Cena had some crazy entrance where he was driving a nice car (It was a Ford model, I suck at car knowledge) into Ford Field. It was another beg for cheers just like the Gangster image in Chicago. Michaels gave up absolutely no real offense to Cena for the most part. He looked like he was gonna start silly bumping at points too. I wouldn't be shocked if Cena legit hit him to wake him up from it. Michael's face was beat red throughout the whole match, like he had an allergic reaction to something. Don't know why I had to point that out. Anyway, the match? Way better then it had any right to be. They did a sequence where they were reversing each other, which started with something off the tope rope, it was very, very good. One of the best reversal sequences I've seen in a match. Both men kicked out of each others finishers, which is the same as Batista/Taker (Batista out of Last Ride, Taker out of Batista Bomb). Cena won with the STFU, which I'm happy once again got over as a finish.

No Rey Jr. or Triple H shocked me.

[jdw]

So the Respected Locker Room Leader won the title from Batista. That makes sense - when you've avoided having The Streak be used to pass onto taking a wrestler to another level, you might as well just keep having him win.

Still, I'm not entirely sure where Taker being World Champ gets the company anywhere towards a better future. It's short term, and they're pretty limited in what they can run at him that will sell.

Shawn lost, which is good. One has a feeling that he's going to get his win back somewhere along here.

Vince got his head shaved. One has to give it up to Vince - he went the full monty on the hair. This wasn't just the hair getting trimmed down to the scalp with the electric razor. They went all the way and put the shaving cream on and shaved him. Vince pretty much has always, since taking on the Mr. McMahon role, taken bumps far worse than he needed, and bladed far bigger that one expected, to put over a storyline or match. This is another one where he's a trooper in that respect.

Of course he was literally the "main event" without being placed in the main event, and his getting trimmed was likely going to be on the news. So he did have the incentive to go all the way.

The rest of the card looks uninteresting. This really isn't one that inspires a quick buy when it comes out on DVD.


John

[eron]

[Paul Jacobi]

[Iron Chad]

The most interesting part of the whole Carlito/Flair angle was how it's been used to motivate the Florida basketball team. Around the time Florida was farting around and losing to 2 out of 3 or 3 out of 4, whatever it was, in the SEC to Tennessee and Vanderbilt, Billy Donovan showed his team Flair's promo on Carlito (the "everybody says you have no heart" one, that pretty much started the angle, and was really appropriate to Florida's current status and what many were saying).

Billy D showed it again before Florida's regional final against Oregon, and sprung Naitch on the troops to give them a pregame pep talk (which was probably pretty good, I hope he stripped down to his Gators boxers and elbow dropped Donovan's dry-erase board for diagramming plays -- or went SPACE MOUNTAIN, WHOOOOO crazy like he did on every 1996 Nitro pre-nWo).

Of course, if it wasn't for a couple of blurbs in the WON and the Florida papers, none of this would've seen the light of day. I guess since the championship game airs opposite RAW it's competition, so WWE will give up on another opportunity for some cool "mainstream press". Maybe Vince was afraid it would take focus from his angle with Trump. I was sorta surprised WWE didn't at least use this to get some more conventional press leading up to WM, but considering the way things run n WWE (and Flair wasn't even important enough to squeeze on the main card somehow, not that the world needs anymore Flair matches), I'm not very surprised.

-Chad

[kjh]

[Bob Morris]