We are DVD HOLLENDAISE- Hardcore Sex-Machines relentless in the pursuit of
YOUR pleasure.  God bless GLENN~!!!, QUEBRADABOY, and OUR BOY LYNCH
for doling out the grappling funtabulousness this trip around the horn.  Rev Ray- who
enjoys the occasional conjugal visit with Naimark’s mom- tackles the world of AJW
ATHENA! and the divine GAEA.  I- DEAN RASMUSSEN- leap into the hoary pit that is
AAA.  I tackle the wacky Japan Indie Worldliness That Was The Umanoseke Ueda
Tribute Show - much like when Rippa’s mom tackled Roman Gabrielle four times- setting
the Detroit Lions’ single game team sack record against the Philadelphia Eagles back in
1968.  But FIRST here’s the man who showed Schneider’s sister WHO’S CAUSING
ALLL THIS- POGO PETE!...........
 

!@!@!@!@!@ TORYUMON TV PART 2- 2/18/99 (taped 2/5, 2/6, 2/7/99)
(POGO PETE STEIN!)
As good as Part 1 was, it gets even better.  Dragon Kid is in the GAORA studio, and we
swing right into:

DRAGON KID vs. DR. CEREBRO, NWA Welterweight title Decision Match:
Cerebro's got the SLAMMIN' rainbow brain mask tonight, and just how wonderfully
goofy are the man's submission holds?  Well, take a gander at Volk Han, Satanico and Dos
Caras in the front row gazing starry-eyed at the good doctor as he slaps the no-hands
Texas Cloverleaf on Kid!  Not much actually happens till the finish as Kid pulls off some
crazy headscissors on Cerebro.  Cerebro bails out and Kid does the Silver King moonsault
onto him.  Cerebro re-enters the ring and hits Kid with a tope, and they slap each other
around on the floor until they both get counted out at 9:10.  Crowd HATES the finish, but
it's just a tease as UD comes out and orders a restart.  Eric Bischoff is such a bastard that
after one of his quack doctors ruins UD's arm for life, he *still* has the nerve to steal UD's
booking ideas. =)  Both guys kick it into overdrive at the restart.  Cerebro slams Kid and
goes up top, but he wastes 20 minutes getting up there and of course misses the splash.
Kid hits an Ultra Huracanrana for 2.  Cerebro comes back with the WIN, PLACE AND
SHOW goofiest hold I've ever seen... he uses his arm to hook both of Kid's arms and lifts
Kid up by his leg so that he's suspended upside-down against Cerebro's body.  Unreal.
Dos elbows Volk in the ribs to snap him out of his trance.  Cerebro then does this move
where he lifts Kid up like in a back bodydrop, hooks Kid's legs, grabs his head and drops
down on one knee into this mutant bow-and-arrow Y2K variation.  Satanico whips out a
notebook and feverishly takes notes.  Kid comes back with the Dragon's Ray for 2, blows
his Dragon Rana the first time and hits it successfully for the win and title at 4:12.  Crazy
MAX show up and ruin the celebration (cue "West Side Story" music), issuing a sinister
challenge...

JUDO SUWA vs. DRAGON KID, NWA Welterweight Title:  Kid dominates the first few
minutes until TARU interferes on Judo's behalf.  Judo stays in control with the help of his
mates in Crazy MAX, going through his  entire repertoire.  He isn't nearly as flashy as
Shiima, but he's solid and comes off even seedier.  ;)  Finally Sumo Fuji distracts Ted
Tanabe while Shiima helps Judo go for a Superbomb, but Kid reverses into a Frankenstein,
ejects Shiima and hits Judo with an incredible pinsas (Rey Jr. move, handspring onto
Judo's shoulders into a rana) that sends Judo outside.  They brawl into the crowd and
come back, where Kid gets 2 with a springboard rana.  He goes for the Dragon Rana but
TARU knocks him down.  They battle back-and-forth until Kid finally beats Judo with the
same sequence he used to beat Cerebro with at 8:45.  OK match but nothing to write
home about, unlike...

MAGNUM TOKYO vs. SHIIMA NOBUNAGA, IWRG Intercontinental Welterweight
title:  Folks, what we are looking at here is the first great rivalry of the 21st Century in
Tokyo-Shiima.  First part of the match goes back-and-forth until Crazy MAX interfere and
start pulling off some Busby Berkeley-esque triple-teams on Tokyo in the corner while
Shiima connects with these dropkicks where it looks like he's jumping 40 feet in the air
Kung Fu movie-style to land them.  You are weak, you are a fool, blah blah blah
yackety-schmackety.  Shiima does the People's Legdrop again... gotta love how the
workrate freaks like to diss Rock left and right even while great workers like Juvie and
Shiima are borrowing the "People's <insert move>" concept.  ;)  Shiima goes for this
weird corkscrew legdrop off the second rope but Tokyo moves out of the way.  He hits a
rana on Shiima, snaps Shiima's neck on the ropes, hits the floor and shakes his
powderpuff, but Crazy MAX are lurking about and they put the boots to him to a big pop.
Match turns into a sprint at this point.  Shiima tosses Tokyo outside and follows with a
rolling plancha, then sends him back into the ring.  He climbs up top for the Mad Splash,
but Tokyo quickly rolls over to Shiima, crotches him and hits a Frankenstein that Shiima
rolls through for a near-fall.  Tokyo with a German for 2.99999.  He plants Shiima with
the Viagra Driver and hits the Shooting Star Press, but Crazy MAX have Tanabe tied up
in the corner.  Tokyo hits a pair of La Magistrals and connects with the Viagra Driver
again, but this time TARU nuts him while Tanabe's off-screen somewhere.  Shiima hits the
Iconoclasm and does a couple of facebuster variations but Tokyo kicks out of everything.
Shiima sets Tokyo on top and goes for a superplex- Tokyo slaps him down, but Shiima
gets back up and connects with a pair of shotays.  With Tokyo stunned, Shiima hits a
second Iconoclasm and finally hits the Mad Splash for the pin at 17:52.  Awesome stuff,
even with the excessive Crazy MAX run-ins... speaking of which, MAX does one more
for good measure as they toss out UD's trainees so that Shiima and the boys can pose for
TARU's Polaroid over Tokyo's corpse.  Rest of the show consists of the NWA
Middleweight title tournament from Bunka Gym.  1st round highlights only.

MAGNUM TOKYO vs. SUMO FUJI:  Tokyo with the Shooting Star Press in 8:47.
Sumo... in... singles... isn't... good...

SASUKE vs. GRAN NANIWA:  SASUKE's back to the non-evil mask for good starting
with tonight's tournament.  Finish has Naniwa with the swinging DDT followed with two
crappy Doctor Bombs which SASUKE kicks out of.  Naniwa places SASUKE on top and
hits a rana, but SASUKE counters at 2 with a reversal.  They go back and forth in the
move until SASUKE finally pins Naniwa at 13:09.  Man, did Naniwa get ruined by that
broken leg or what?

SASUKE THE GREAT vs. SHIIMA NOBUNAGA:  STG is Orihara for tonight-
apparently they've switched guys around before.  Shiima stays in control for the brunt of
the highlights except for Orihara hitting his Spider German suplex at the beginning of the
clips.  Shiima winds up hitting the Iconoclasm, adds a pair of Mad Splashes and gets the
pin at 13:07- then from out of NOWHERE he starts selling a knee injury like there's no
tomorrow.  The plot thickens...

NWA MIDDLEWEIGHT TOURNAMENT FINAL MATCH:  MAGNUM TOKYO VS.
SASUKE:  Shiima was "unable to continue" <wink wink> and for some reason they didn't
have another quarterfinal match, so SASUKE and Tokyo proceed directly to the final.
First several minutes are totally spot-free as they stay on the mat and work submission
spots... surprisingly good, and it's a tip that this is gonna go a long time.  Things
eventually pick up as Tokyo sends SASUKE to the floor with a dropkick and follows up
with a tope.  He then gets onto the apron and hits the Toyota moonsault to a huge pop.
They tease a DCOR as both climb back in at 18, but SASUKE tosses Tokyo out and sets
up a table on the floor.  They do some table spots until Tokyo tries to suplex SASUKE
into the ring, at which point SASUKE reverses it and Tokyo takes a sick bump on the
unbreakable table.  SASUKE sets Tokyo on the table, hits the ring, charges the ropes and
does a tope con hilo onto Tokyo!  SASUKE sells it like he's been knocked silly... he
climbs back in and sees Tokyo climbing onto the table, so now he does a springboard
dropkick onto Tokyo on the table!!  I guess the table's been working out with Scott
Steiner because it still hasn't budged.  ;)  Both guys stagger back in at which point
SASUKE hits a quebrada followed by a Japanese Leg Rolling Clutch hold, both for
2-counts.  Tokyo comes back with a Tokyo Cutter, second-rope moonsault and La
Magistral but can't put SASUKE away.  Tokyo sets SASUKE up top and hits the Hippy
Hippy Rana but SASUKE rolls through for 2, then follows with a German for 2.  He goes
for the TFPB but Tokyo slips behind him and hits this SICK released Dragon Suplex that
SASUKE takes directly onto his head.  SASUKE is selling this like his skull got fractured
a third time and Tokyo quickly hits the Viagra Driver.  He then hits the Shooting Star but
starts selling his back rather than going for the pin.  With Tokyo on the mat in agony
SASUKE climbs up top, does his Babe Ruth "called shot" impression and hits a rolling
senton back-first on Tokyo for 2.  Tokyo kicks out huge, but he can't do anything else and
SASUKE hits the TFPB for the pin at 21:51.  MOTYC, folks... both guys were
off-the-charts here, and SASUKE was actually selling for a change.  Tokyo gives WCW a
hearty "FUCK YOU!" and-

But wait- there's more!  Crazy MAX come out and reveal that Shiima was working his
knee injury all along.  They all rip off their "SASUKE" shirts, revealing their "Crazy
MAX" shirts underneath, and a gang attack on SASUKE- er, Sasuke ensues while UD's
trainees try to make the save.  Help soon arrives in the form of... TAKA Michinoku?!?!?!
Crazy MAX bails out, Sasuke and TAKA go back-and-forth on THE STICK, and the gist
of it is that TAKA could care less about Sasuke- he's doing it for M-Pro.  The prodigal
son hath returned!  Tokyo hugs UD and Sasuke, and the show ends with Tokyo propped
on the shoulders of the rest of the trainees.  Whew.

All in all, if you're still sitting here reading this section I don't know if I should compliment
you for your resolve or make fun of you for not being logical and proceeding to DROP
EVERYTHING AND GET THIS SHOW NOW!  RUN, DON'T WALK!  DAMN THE
TORPEDOES!
 

!@!@!@! UMANOSEKE UEDA TRIBUTE SHOW ON SAMURAI TV - 1/1/98
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)

Being (a) an idiot and (b) a lazy sack of crap who just got his glorious Crown Vic crushed
like bug on the mean streets of Richmond, I’m starting this review with no inkling of who
Ueda is.  I DID call an unnamed member of DVD FOGHAT in a comical attempt at
research- as opposed to the usual method (Weasling it out of John D Williams somehow)-
and he said that he thinks he was the Japanese version of the Sheikh way back when or
something.  Anyway, SOMEHOW Lorefice sent me this and I forgot to watch it for some
reason which is WEIRD because these kinda sub-Big Japan indie shows are SO my cup of
tea these days.  This had the added weirdness of WADS of New Japan Superstars, so go
frickin’ figure.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara vs. Masakazu Fukuda (PWF-Gumi!):
Fujiwara is old, I tellya!  Fujiwara is so old, he heel-hooked Noah to UFC b.c.XIV
(AssStomp At Ararat!)  Boy!  Fujiwara is old!  The first time he ever challenged Gracie,
George threw in the towel!  THAT’S GEORGE BURNS FOLKS!  I gotta million of’em!
Fukuda became good later.  PWF started a no-blade policy because everytime Fujiwara
gigged, embalming fluid came out!  This match is pretty horrendous- as Fukuda basically
tries to wrestle the Japanese version of Roddy Piper 1999.  Fukuda is good.  This wasn’t
so good.  Didn’t Fujiwara retire?  Why the hell not?

Shoji Nakamaki/ Ryushi Yamakawa vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri/ Minoru Fujita: WELL! This
kicks into gear right quick as Big Japan supplies the hurtiness, what with Tajiri and
Yamakawa beating each other’s asses deeply into the ground.  Minoru Fujita is in one of
the coolest tag teams in all of independent wrestling as he and Hidaka are the Midnight
RocknRoll Fantastik Express Rockers- and Fujita is good little worker in his own right.
Nakamaki would be a manager who blades and takes big bumps if he were in America- a
sort of sadomasachistic Percy Pringle, so this match does have it’s downside- because
unless Nakamaki is being thrown through a pain of glass for your amusement, he’s pretty
useless to you.  Here he has to WRESTLE!  AllRIGHT!  Tajiri figures out that- since
Nakamaki is a load- the best thing to do is to kick him really hard a whole lot- and GOD
BLESS’EM- he does!  Yamakawa is what Nakamaki could never be in every sense of the
word:  In garbage matches, Yamakawa is in the Cactus Jack league of mind-numbingly
stupid bumps which Nakamaki could never pull the trigger on; as an actual wrestler,
Yamakawa is rock solid US Pro-style and he is becoming credible in straight Puroresu as
he is starting to put some pepper in his kicks and is hitting some good suplexes.  Here
Yamakawa puts the boots to Tajiri and then does a nifty highflying sequence with Fujita
which he tops off with beheadingly great Hot Shot on the spunky young punk.  Nakamaki-
who DID do a Rasmussenesque Tope to win points in the College Try department- gets
the pin with a couple shitty clothelines on the tres good Fujita.  This was good for three
out of four reasons and Nakamaki basically is a fat guy who gets pummeled to set up
Fujita throwing him into the corner so Nakamaki can tag out because Fujita wants a piece
of Yamakawa’s ass.  This was good but WAAAAY to short.  Hell, Yamakawa and Tajiri
went Broadway with Gedo and Jado and it was good if I remember correctly (or ever saw
it.  Darkness falls, the vision dims....)

Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Satoshi Kojima:  This was the best WCWSN first hour main event
EVER!  At eleven minutes, these two budding New Japan superstars combine the good
(neato brawling around the ring, huge wads of stiffness) with the bad (giant passages of
no-selling, endless standing around by Kojima as waits for Tenzan to stop overselling long
enough to uncork another Chosyu lariat.)  They do this little section where Kojima lariats
the hell out of the ringpost and Tenzan kinda works on it for a while as a kind of
smattering of a story of some kind of depth but they come their senses and get back to
no-selling and clotheslining.  Eh.  If you’ve watched enough of these NJ Heavyweight By
Numbers matches you realize that they can actually become something compelling if the
right elements are augmented- like if the story is simple and realization of the story is stiff
and realistic enough and if the no-selling is at a minimum.  This match didn’t have
anything in it to make it very good.  Actually, since this is followed by Goro Tsurumi vs
Devil #1, I’m thinking this was the absolutely best mailed-in match in the history of
wrestling.  Well.  It’s probably up there.  Welcome to Young Superstars On Cruise
Control.

Goro Tsurumi vs. Devil #1:  This is an IWA in Japan but not Restart or one of the
OTHER IWAs in Japan.  I want tapes of all IWAs in Japan because they all seem
amazingly crappy and fun.  I’d advice not drinking anything while watching this because
there are about ten or eleven places where whatever you’re drinking will shoot straight out
of your nose.  Goro Tsurumi has to be like 60 and he looks like he is vainly taking one last
shot at hipness with his Bassplayer For Wishbone Ash gigantic whiteboy afro and the
black and rust trunks with the SPOOKY skull and crossbones on it.  It’s actually
endearing as opposed to awe-inspiring, so it works on a couple of levels when you really
think about it.  He is all nifty in one section as he does this great old man elaborate roll-up
but blows up completely so he just lays in the corner as the Devils make with the goofy
Batten Brothers On Halloween Night switcheroo highjinxs.  This isn’t good or anything.
40 or 50 stars.

Masaaki Mochizuki/ Takashi Okamura vs. Kamikaze/ Hiroyoshi Kotsubo: This continues
in the Three Out Of Four Are Good motif of the festive evening- as Mochizuki and the
AMAZINGLY underrated Kamikaze supply the manly firmness and make everything
allright.  Kamikaze is great in this match as he seals his title as fattest, lumpiest highflyer in
Japan.  He does a GREAT Porcine Springboard Moonsault that had to hurt like hell when
King Of Beef landed on him.  Mochizuki is so flashy in these short tag matches and it
reemphasizes the innate coolness of Mochizuki- in that he can be MOCHIZUKI-
MASTER Of KUNG-FU! in these little matches and be MOCHIZUKI- MASTER OF
PURORESU PSYCHOLOGY! in actual singles matches.  I’m stoked that he is gonna get
his jaw broken by Takaiwa in the Top Of The Super Juniors this year.  Here, he and
Kamikaze try to see who can do the fastest kicks and when they finally land, they look all
hurty and shit.  I have no idea why All Japan didn’t sign Kamikaze when they had the
chance because he is one of the freakier wrestlers around- large, lumpy, seedy, sporting
impossibly crappy hair but he’s also graceful and deadly: everything fun about Japanese
indies pretty much.  Kotsubo doesn’t suck as he is quite the Lenny Lane of the tourney.
Okamura isn’t...uh...very good.  I always thought he was a sort of less exciting Jado, but
now I’m starting to think that he is SO much less.  His offense is fruity and goofy and all
embellished by stupid flourishes and he has no idea how to sell consistently- HOLY
CRAP!  Okamura is a poorman’s Rob Van Dam!  God help us all.  You should still get
this for the Mochizuki and the Kamikaze despite the mindnumbing implications of
Okamura.

Tiger Mask (Satoru Sayama) vs. Tiger Mask IV: I’ve seen these two wrestle
WAAAAAAAY too many times in my short tenure as Guy Who Watches All These Tapes
Of Wrestling, and goddam if each one of these matches doesn’t suck as much ass as the
next Battle Of The Tiger Masks.  Watching Sayama try to do all the TigerMask signature
moves at his age and weight makes me wonder why he doesn’t just wear a toupee on his
mask and call it a fullblown midlife crisis.  This sucked.  Sayama keeps falling over while
trying his mortals and flips, TM4 can’t figure out how much to get in, neither kick like
Kings enough to make for fun stiffness, the matwork is sloppy and useless, IIIIiiiiiiIIIII
dunno.  Let’s face facts.  The TM4 gimmick only works like a motherfucker when TM4 is
getting the holy hell beaten out of him (MEN’S, Diasuke Ikeda) so you can feel empathy
for the little fella and get behind him fighting back against big mean kicky hurty impossible
odds.  Here it’s just an old guy who can’t really do anything anymore and young fella out
of his element trying to do a super-subpar shootstyle match with all of TM’s trademark
moves blown completely to disrupt even the subpar Shootstyle.  So it sucks.
ALLRIGHT!

(For WHATEVER reason, the rest is all clipped.)
Tatsumi Kitahara vs. Nobutaka Araya: Kitahara is my favorite actually talented WAR
heavyweight- he wears comically bad clothing and kicks like one of my old girlfriends
from college PLUS his new group is called (this is SO cool) Capture International.  Araya
is a good heavyweight in the classic WAR mode (alot like Tenryu) but he is also not afraid
to hit swanky highspots (but I haven’t seen him post sever neck injury).  They show ONE
minute of this and I kick my TV right in the teeth for letting me down again.

El Samurai/ Kendo Kashin vs. Koji Kanemoto/ Tatsuhito Takaiwa: Okay.  This match has
been done to death in New Japan already so no big deal hacking this to pieces.  Saves me
the fast-forwarding.  NEXT!

Ryuma Go vs. Funakashi:  Okay.  It’s Ryuma GO!- who I’m more fascinated with
CONCEPTUALLY than in any way of ACTUALLY SEEING him wrestle- in that he isn’t
afraid to be a peck of fun when in the right setting (like this)- so one minute of highlights
from this is probably exhausting the highlights of the match (Actually, I think they show
the same GO! powerbomb twice) so that’s fine.

Yuki Ishikawa/ Naohiro Hoshikawa vs. Daisuke Ikeda/ Mohammed Yone:  Only ONE
motherfucking MINUTE of THIS?!?!?!?!!  Hoshikawa, ISHIKAWA and motherfricking
DIASUKE IKEDA?!?   YOU go to HELL, SamuraiTV.

IWA vs. Goto's FMW: Great Kabuki/ Daikokubo Benkei vs. Tarzan Goto/ Katsutoshi
Niiyama:  OH HELL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Benkei, Scroto, the corpse of Kabuki?  I
was actually almost curious to see how hideous this would get- but I would just feel filthy
from the degradation and need to take a bath, so hacking this match to shreds is a-okay
with me.

Eh.  Get it.  It’s got almost enough good to counteract the truly horrible- though the
horrible is pretty hideous.  It does have huge wads of Japan Indie Weirdness to get you
through and rationalize the time spent watching- which is the key to the whole magilla.
 

@#@#@#@#@#@ ALL JAPAN WOMEN ATHENA  - The Spirit of Women's Sports,
3/99
(REV RAY!)
This is a show shot in a studio which looks pretty nice, though they don't have the boss
elevator platform that they had last year.  They do have the world's largest announcing
team with them though.
We're joined by the king of Takako Inoue spankers in the crowd this week.  Sorry Scott
Lacy, this is the guy you have to beat for the title.  They interview him about something
and pop up a picture of Eagle Sawai, who attacked him on the studio show last year.
They show a video package on Takako including some of her early stuff, like her class of
'88 picture where Kyoko Inoue was under 200 pounds.

Handicap match :  Miho Wakizawa/Kayo Noumi v. Takako Inoue :  The youngsters
attack at the bell and set up their camel clutch pose spot.  Takako fights back with DDTs
for each girl and then puts Miho in the camel clutch and does the pose spot with Kayo.
Takako throws Miho into her fan boy a few times.  Kayo and Noumi get in a few double
team spots.  The match ends in a draw was the time limit wasn't all that long.  Not a lot of
time to show off, but Miho did do a neat body/leg scissors type move into a cradle which
was cool.

They show that Mita and Shimoda are in the crowd.  You know, pink and white striped
sweaters just scream "mega heel".

They do a video package on the ZAPs, which stands for Zenjo Afflict Purpose, just some
more useless stuff for you to all know.  Of Mita and Shimoda talking shit at the ZAPs at a
house show as you see the LCO had this big feud Watanabe and Itoh a few years back.

ZAP I & T v. Kumiko Maekawa/Kayo Noumi :  The ZAPs are sporting the old bug
masks.  ZAPs use the kendo sticks early.  ZAP W chases away all 50 members of the
announce team as she drags Kayo through the announcer's area.  ZAPS beat on Kayo a bit
until she hits a backslide for a two and tags to Maekawa.  Maekawa gets her legs worked
over by the ZAPs before she hits a back kick and starts up the kick parade. ZAP breaks up
a pin attempt by throwing a kendo stick in, which Maekawa throws into the crowd.  ZAP
I hits the Koji Kanemoto corner senton on Kayo. Maekawa and Noumi fight back to the
point that Noumi hits the ZAPS with a double plancha.  Noumi's eye gets busted up and
she's put away after a ZAP I double stomp.  Shimoda gets on the apron to start trouble.
Maekawa goes after her, but the ZAPs make it clear that this is their fight as they go after
the LCO.  I think it's actions like that cause Mita and Shimoda to be asked to leave the
studio.

A recap of the Neo v. AJW matches is shown.

5 v. 5 scramble bout :  Yuka Nakamura/Misae Genki/Kyoko Inoue/Chapparita
ASARI/Saya Endo v.  ZAP Itosaki/Yuki Fujii/Nanae Takahashi/Momoe
Nakanishi/Manami Toyota :  Both teams get announced by their respective promotion's
ring announcer.
Manami Toyota v. Yuka Nakamura :  Man, that Manami Toyota makes Nakamura look
totally god like by not selling a single move she does and pins her after a drop kick in like
10 seconds.  Get married to Osamu Tachihikari, have his fat bumbling offspring and get
the fuck off my tv already, Toyota.

Manami Toyota v. Saya Endo: Endo and Genki attack during the break.  Endo gets hit
with a straight jacket suplex for a two.  Genki interferes again and Nanae interferes to
even it up.  Toyota hits a moonsault for a two.  Toyota hits the JOC suplex for the pin.

Manami Toyota v. Misae Genki: Toyota hits Genki with a german suplex and puts her in
the figure four so all 4 of her team mates can hit top rope splashes onto her.  This leads to
Genki hitting Toyota and 3 of Genki's partners hitting top rope drop kicks on Toyota
before Kyoko accidentally hits Genki.  Toyota hits the JOC Suplex for a 2 before Endo
breaks up the pin.  Genki hits the Devon Storm Driver for a two.  It looked all hurty and
stuff... but you couldn't tell from the suplex Toyota hit after it.  Genki hits another one but
the AJW girls make the save.  Genki gets knocked to the floor and the Shockmaster
springboard plancha is done.  A brawl beaks out on the floor as Kyoko has had enough of
the interference and we've got a brawl on the outside.  Both sides hold their opponent
outside for a double countout.

ZAP Itohsaki v. ASARI :  The AJW gals all jump ASARI and beat her down.  Itohsaki
ends up running into the corner and ASARI turned it into a corbata (spinning rana out of
the corner) for the 3 count.  This went maybe a minute.

Fujii v. ASARI:  I think this is my first time seeing Fujii on TV.  I think there's a reason for
that.  Fujii's offense is really ehhhhh.  ASARI gets in her handspring double mule kick, an
underhook suplex and puts away Fujii with the skytwister where it looked like she landed
with her knee to Fujii's head.

ASARI v. Nakanishi:  This gets all high flying with Momoe and ASARI doing a bunch of
acrobatic stuff leading to the lucha plancha train wreck spot with all the seconds who
didn't just have their brains scrambled.  This ends up as a time limit draw and both are
eliminated.  This was a little more interesting, but there were a few spots that looked a
little off.

Takahashi v. Kyoko Inoue:  Kyoko looks really confused when the 3 AJW girls try to
triple team her.  Toyota hits Kyoko with a top rope drop kick leading to a Nanae Vader
Bomb in the corner for a two.  Nanae and Momoe try to set up a double team but that
gets foiled by ASARI who helps Kyoko double team Nanae.  Kyoko drops Nanae with a
lariat after a few run ins by the AJW girls.  Post match there's more of a pull apart.  Genki
talks some shit post match to Nane and a pull apart is on.  Maybe she doesn't think the
perm Nanae has looks good either.

A short time limit doesn't help these matches, especially when veterans decide to take a
big dump on the junior wrestlers in the match.

The news recaps the title switch between Yasha Kurenai and Kumiko Maekawa is shown.
The profile of the body boarder is also shown.  Buy our videos!  They run down the
matches set up for the March LLPW/AJW show.

They show highlights of a press conference where Hotta and Kazama have words and
results in a shoving match and later on Hotta and Kandori behind held apart.

Shinobu Kandori/Junko Yagi (LLPW) v. Yumiko Hotta/Miho Wakizawa (AJW): Miho
gets run over by Yagi at the start, so Hotta drops Yagi with a lariat before fighting with
Kandori.  Miho does some hair pulling and tags in Hotta who throws Yagi to Kandori to
tag out.  Kandori  and Hotta mix it up a bit with Kandori hitting his palm strikes and
tagging to Yagi who Hotta doesn't really sell a whole lot for.  Miho tries bitch slapping
Kandori who dares her to do it some more before she runs into an Hotta knee to the back.
Hotta sets up the LLPW gals so Miho can plancha them both.  Miho tags to Hotta who
goes Kandori punting. Kandori tries to counter a Hotta tiger driver attempt into a knee
bar, but Hotta gets the hold first.  Kandori and Hotta exchange moves, Yagi tagged in.
Yagi gets the upper hand on Miho for a bit, but her offense needs some work.  Hotta
witha  tiger driver on Yagi for a two.  Miho with a top rope splash and two top rope drop
kicks for twos.  Wakizawa with a fishermanbuster for a two which Yagi sort of kicked out
of Kandowri sort of saved.  Yagi tags out and they stuff bomb Miho. Miho escapes a
second bomb attempt and gives Kandori some drop kicks while on the mat before Kandori
turns one into an ankle lock.  Hotta comes in and punts Kandori right in the face.  Kandori
rolls outside for a bit clutching her face before getting back in the ring and changing
Hotta.  The match gets thrown out as everyone tries to seperate the two.  Post match
Hotta and Kazama have some more words.  That closes out the show.

If only the action and selling matched the studio/video quality.
 
 

$%$%$%$%$$ EMLL TV 3-29-92, 4-12-92
(POGO PETE STEIN!)
The Empresa was just SMOKING back in the Spring of '92.  Business was at an all-time
high, TV was pulling unheard-of ratings, they had one of wrestling's most creative minds
behind the scenes, Antonio Pena, and some of the biggest draws in Mexico like Perro
Aguayo, Konnan, Octagon, Fuerza Guerrera, Blue Panther, Mascara Sagrada and the
Dinamitas were all signed with them.  Nothing could possibly derail them... right?  This
week I'mo take a look at the TV leading up to and including the Blue Panther-Love
Machine mask match.  And to think Mullet-Boy Rippa reviews EMLL for Fishman...
PAHHHH!  At least review stuff from when he was a spry lad in his early 60s!

LOS METALLICOS vs. FELINO/PONZONA/COMMANDO RUSO:  Repeat after me,
kids:  "ALL RUSSIANS BAD!"  Especially Mexicans pretending to be Russians.  That
said Ruso looks half-decent here, pulling off an OK Liger bomb and trying to stay out of
the way of the lost great trios team of the 90s, Los Metallicos.  Plata and Platino were
OK, but Oro was MILLENNIA ahead of the rest of the EMLL pack.  None of his moves
would look all that special today, but by 1992 standards he was an absolutely sensational
flier.  If only he hadn't gotten that Kobashi tape in the mail.  =(  Lucha-by-numbers match
(tecs take first caida, rudos even it up in the second) with a pretty hot finish as Plata hits a
tope on Ponzona (who wrestled even worse than he dressed- sort of an off-the-shoulder
Felino monkey suit with blue trim).  Felino (wearing said monkey suit) knocks Platino
down and charges, but Platino monkey-flips him outside and hits a freakin' unreal Asai
moonsault that CRUSHES some poor fan in the front row.  In-ring Ruso slams Oro and
goes for a moonsault (!!! He wasn't doing this shit back in '91!), but Oro moves out of the
way and polishes off Senor Communista with a beautiful quebrada.  All six take a bow
postmatch... wasn't exactly a classic, but the kids seemed to like it.

BLUE PANTHER/ FIERA/ JERRY ESTRADA vs. LOVE MACHINE /SOLITARIO JR/
LIZMARK JR: Blue and Love had a Memphis-esque brawl outside Arena Mexico leading
into this match... should be noted that the fans were TOTALLY behind Blue during the
angle but Love is getting the majority of the cheers for the match, probably because most
of the fans didn't see that Love touched the brawl off.  Should also be noted that Love had
the most HIDEOUS outfit back then... stars-and-stripes trunks, red leggings with white
hearts and that fringe mask with hearts over each eye inside a huge heart on the face of the
mask.  I think Helen Keller would've noticed it. ;)   Rudos spend the first fall beating the
crap out of Love with the help of Gato Montini (still the best rudo ref ever IMO), but
Love makes a quick comeback and shreds Blue's mask while Lizmark and Solitario pin
Jerry and Fiera (who looks like he went directly from his Ratt audition to the arena).
Second fall has Blue rip Love's mask right back, thankyouverymuch.  The two go back
and forth until Blue goes for a suplex; Love rolls through and gets the pin to end the
match JUST LIKE THAT!  Well now!  Love puts in the mask/mask challenge, and a date
is set for two weeks hence.

LOS BRAZOS vs. LIZMARK SR/ RAYO DE JALISCO JR/ KONNAN EL BARBERO:
It's nostalgia time as the Brazos main-evented the first Galavision TV I ever saw (set the
WABAC machine for December 1991, Sherman).  If anything Porky's even funnier as a
rudo, and he's the most over guy out of the six in the match.  Rayo was one of the worst
wrestlers in the universe even back in '92 and Konnan (who was getting the most heel heat
of the six- go fig) wasn't much better, so it's up to the Brazos to bump their asses off all
over the ring for these two.  Tecs take the first fall, rudos even it in the second when
Porky splashes Lizmark and then KILLS KONNAN DEAD with a top-rope splash.  Third
fall winds up a DCOR after we get the rare Porky tope and the super-rare assisted
springboard plancha from Konnan, and both teams do the "hail fellow, well met"
handshakes afterwards.  OK match.

SANGRE CHICANA vs. PERRO AGUAYO: Hey, that button on my VCR's remote with
the triangles pointing to the right allows me to practically skip the entire match!  Imagine
that!

PIERROTH JR/ JAQUE MATE/ MASAKRE vs. MASCARA SAGRADA/ OCTAGON/
APOLLO DANTES:  The rudo team is Los Intocables (The Untouchables), which means
we get the hysterical visage of Pierroth hitting the ring in a white tux and striking a pose
with his GIGANTIC CMLL Trios and LHW belts.  Dean would wear these bad boys to
work when his Parka mariachi suit had to go to the cleaners.  =P  Tecs take the first fall
when Octagon beats Mate with this insane, Cerebro-like hold where he uses a flying
headscissors on Mate and cranks Mate's arm back while still in midair, and Apollo (who
was such a Schneider-esque geek in '91-92 it wasn't funny) uses a Northern Lights suplex
on Masakre.  Rudo caida follows as Mate hits Apollo with a missile dropkick and Pierroth
draws a ton of heat by standing on Apollo's chest in order to pin him.  Final caida is a
quickie, ending when Pierroth drops Sagrada to the mat and then beats him clean with the
EXACT same mutant bow-and-arrow hold Cerebro did to Dragon Kid on the Toryumon
show.  It's almost like Pierroth was the muse to Cerebro's mad genius.  Postmatch the tecs
put in a challenge for the CMLL Trios title despite having lost the non-title match clean as
a sheet- wotta buncha crybabies.

LOS HERMANOS DINAMITAS vs. RAYO DE JALISCO JR/ KONNAN/ PERRO
AGUAYO:  Surprisingly good as all six have their working boots on at the same time for
a change, and the SRO crowd is popping like crazy for the tecs. (18,000+ in the building,
several thousand more in the parking lot watching on closed-circuit... this is because
Arena Mexico had to be closed down for a month due to structural damage after
thousands of fans who had been shut out of the 1990 Cien-Rayo mascara match actually
stormed the gates and broke through- due to all of the hype surrounding said match.)
After the tecs take the first fall the match quickly bogs down as the Dinamitas triple-team
on Rayo.  Konnan and Perro eventually tire of this and make the save.  Rayo shreds Ano's
mask in the corner, climbs up top and hits his Plancha From Hell on Universo while Perro
pins Cien with a crucifix and Konnan pins Ano with a neat cradle hold.  Konnan and Perro
celebrate the straight-falls win in each other's arms, which is too funny considering the
funtabulous trash-talk each would publicly lay on the other in 1996 after Konnan took his
crew to Promo.

ATLANTIS vs. LA FIERA, NWA MIDDLEWEIGHT TITLE: There's that title again.
Atlantis was much more agile and athletic back in 1992 as his knees hadn't gone yet, and
he takes the first fall with a Togo-style rolling bodyblock to pin Fiera.  Fiera quickly evens
things up when he hits Atlantis with the enzuigiri to send him outside then follows with his
awesome hands-free tope, and Atlantis is stunned to the point where he takes a countout
after Fiera climbs back in.  Fiera spends most of the final fall working over Atlantis' arm
like mad, apparently since Atlantis hurt it taking Fiera's tope.  Atlantis pulls off a
quebradora out of nowhere and comes back by working on Fiera's leg and back.  Pierroth
(seconding Fiera) tries to help work the kinks out of Fiera's leg, which gets him a warning
from referee Guerro Rangel, but while he's distracted Fiera slithers in and nuts Atlantis.
Fiera tries to go for a piledriver on Atlantis (remember that), but Rangel knocks him down
for 2.  Atlantis comes back with a missile dropkick and finally gets Fiera in his quebradora
magistral (spinning Torture Rack to us Yanquis) and gets the submission to retain the title.
Kinda disappointing, as Fiera wasn't afraid to be a total slug save for the tope and a huge
Jerry Bump in the second fall.

MASCARA CONTRA MASCARA: BLUE PANTHER vs. LOVE MACHINE: Looks
like the crowd finally got their priorities straight, as there's a "MEXICO!" chant for Blue
during the intros.  There's a different ref for each fall, and a wave of panic goes through
the crowd as it's announced that Gato is going to ref the third fall.  It just gets to be a
question of who he screws over: nominal babyface Love, or Blue the Mexican?  Love
jumps Blue at the start and posts him several times.  He drags Blue inside, heads up top
and goes for a beautiful elbowdrop like Eaton and Black Warrior do, but Blue moves out
of the way and starts to work on Love's leg.  Crowd reactions are fantastic- they really
can't decide who to root for.  Blue posts Love in return, and the crowd pops as there's an
audible "THUNK" when Love's skull hits the post.  Blue switches his attack plan to Love's
back and soon takes the first fall with a gutwrench backbreaker for the submission.  Fans
are cheering for Love.  Blue goes back to Love's leg at the start of the second fall, but
Love makes a quick comeback and starts whaling away on Blue, sending him outside and
hitting a suplex on the floor.  Now the fans start to cheer for Blue- basically they're
rooting for whoever's on the defensive.  Love hits a plancha to the floor on Blue and gives
him another loud posting- nasty stuff, especially since they're really taking these things
head-first.  Back inside Love hits a spinebuster and a top-rope face-crusher.  He casually
picks Blue up... AND GIVES HIM A PILEDRIVER.  Instant DQ.  We'll take that waste
of cloth you call a mask now.  Love and Black Magic protest to Guerro Rangel while the
morticians hit the ring and try to remove Blue's corpse, then Love snaps and attacks Blue
as he's being stretchered out.  Love unmasks and we get our first glimpse of "Art Art," as
EMLL's operatic ring announcer Vittorino FUBAR's Art's last name.  Barr tries
desperately to keep himself a babyface, grabbing the house mic and announcing in Spanish
that he loves Mexico, but the crowd ain't buying it.  Shit,you'd think he'd know the rules,
right?  The angle here was that he didn't know that the piledriver was illegal in Mexico.
Dumbass.

EMLL was really at a high point here... and it all came crashing down for them scant
weeks later once the mass exodus to that new group called "AAA" began.  You really
can't go wrong with EMLL from this period, although crowd heat would really evaporate
later as more and more names left.

!@!@!@!@!@ GAEA G-Panic! -3/99.
(REV RAY!)

Hey, it's G-Panic and that no goodnick Lioness Aska is on the panel.

Sakura Hirota v. KAORU:  This gets joined in the progress.  Hirota tries to get KAORU
in a Romero Chinlock but doing her comedy spot, loses her balance.  KAORU pretty
much has the expression of "What the hell are you doing?" while Hirota attempts and fails
to do the move, but Hirota instead opts for a bow and arrow hold and then the dreaded
"funny face lock".  KAORU gets in control and does a few hair throws and gives Hirota a
taste of her own medicine.  This match didn't look all that sharp.  Hirota does a lot of
comedy so some times you've got to figure out if it's a blown spot or an intentionally
blown spot.  KAORU seemed little bit off in a few spots as well, but wasn't afraid to drop
Hirota on her head with a back drop driver.  Hirota counters a superplex attempt by doing
what can best be described as the Andy Kaufman "windmill defense" while on the top
rope, which KAORU avoids by sneaking out to the apron since Hirota isn't looking while
she does this and hits her with a drop kick from behind when Hirota climbs off the top
rope.  KAORU does some nice looking moonsaults on Hirota but won't go for the pin.
Hirota hits her with a few uraken variations and gets a near fall with the Tequila Sunrise.
Hirota keeps the offense going by countering a couple of KAORU's strikes into near falls.
The finish looked good as KAORU blocked two uraken attempts, but Hirota tries to tie
her up into the sunrise again, KAORU escaped and hit the Excalibur for the pin.  KAORU
helps up Hirota after the match and consoles her, which is something she hasn't done in a
while because she tends to play the cranky vet against most of the younger girls.  It looked
good in spots, but they blew a few things which held it back.

Toshi Uematsu v. Meiko Satomura:  Meiko starts out by entering the ring and shoving
Toshi.  Satomura's arm is heavily taped. Despite the prematch shoving, they shake hands
at the start.  It starts out with both taking it to the mat and countering  each others hold
attempts for a few minutes.  This was really evenly matched as one girl would take control
for a minute or two before the other would counter their offense and paste them.  The
stiffness was also there with some of the kicks and forearms they were hitting each other
with.  They did a segment where Satomura had Uematsu sitting on her shoulders, Toshi
slips back into a roll up which Meiko turns into the cross armbreaker.  Satomura
countered Toshi's top rope rana attempt into a racked leg lock hold while sitting ont he
top rope, dropped her and hit the frog splash for a two.  They both teased doing the
northern lights suplex, Satomura went for her bicycle kick and Uematsu turned it into a
half crab. Uematsu gets a few top rope drop kicks in but can't get the pin.  She fights for
and eventual gets the double wrist armsault.  They did a weird spot where Uematsu was
going for some hold I couldn't figure out on the top rope which got converted into a
superbomb for a two.  Uematsu escaped 2 Death Valley Bomb attempts by flipping out of
them, she almost counters a third attempt but Satomura hits it for a two.  They do a
segment where Toshi and Meiko fight for their finisher with Satomura hitting the DVB for
the win and Toshi kicking out just after the 3.  This was the GAEA League final.  This
was a pretty solid match, Uematsu's selling left a little to be desired during a few of their
forearm exchanges, but hey, that's just me.

Mima Shimoda/Etsuko Mita v. Toshiyo Yamada/Sonoko Kato:  Kato is opening up with
kicks on Mima at the start, she and Yamada try to sandwich kick her but find only each
other's legs.  The LCO throw them outside and do their plancha spots.  Shimoda gets
caught going up top and fights off Yamda and Kato with Mita setting up Kato on her
shoulders for a sky high drop kick.  Kato plays whipping girl for a bit as Mita hit her with
the blazing chop into a powerbomb which Yamada saved the pin attempted on, but Kato
turned a Death Vally Bomb into a sleeper but got in trouble when she missed her top rope
leg drop.  Kato countered a few of Shimoda's moves and with an assist from a Yamada
kick hit the dragon suplex on Shimoda for a two before Yamada tagged in.  Yamada back
drop suplexed the crap out of Mima before hitting her diving brain kick for a two after
fight off Mita.  Shimoda ducked a spinning hook kick, allowing Mita to hit a blazing chop
to set up Shimoda's top rope somersault ax kick thingy.  Mita tags in and work against
Yamada for a bit before they end up taking it to the stands.  Shimoda high fives fans as she
drags Kato through the crowd.  LCO do the railing ride in ring after Mita powerbombs
Kato onto Yamada.  LCO hit a top rope double powerbomb on Yamada for a two.  Kato
breaks up Mita's pin attempt after the DVB with a top rope leg drop.  Mita keeps up the
assault on Yamada with Kato still trying to make the saves.  Yamada hits the reverse Gory
Special Bomb for a near three.  Yamada goes for the reverse gory bomb again but Mita
breaks up the attempt with two ax kicks that Kumiko Maekawa doesn't have to worry
about, setting up a final Mita DVB for the win over Yamada.

KAORU/ Meiko Satomura v. Lioness Aska/ Mayumi Ozaki:  Oz and Aska attack first, but
KAORU and Meiko fight them off and hit dives to the floor on both women.  Oz gets hit
with a sky high windmillin' elbow by Meiko before Aska breaks up the double team and
breaks out the chain.  Aska does some Meiko punting and hits her with a piledriver.  Oz
tags in and hits a powerbomb for a two.  She puts Meiko in a hold near the corner so Aska
can talk shit right in Meiko's face.  Meiko fights to get to the ropes, when she reaches
them, Aska bites her hand.  KAORU gets the tag and hits a jackhammer before Aska hits
her with the chain a few times.  Lioness nearly gets pinned before Oz hits the ref to break
ujp the count, Aska does blantant chokes which she breaks at 4, before reapplying she hits
a giant swing.  Meiko tags in and exchanges offense.  She gets caught up top, but turns a
Aska high roundhouse kick into an ankle lock while sitting on the top rope.  Aska and Oz
take it to the crowd.  Lioness beats on Satomura while KAORU choked out Oz with an
umbrella.  Satomura hit her bicycle kick and hit the armbreaker out of the corner, which
Oz saved.  KAORU tagged in an had her move turned into a powerbomb once or twice.
Satomura saved her a few times.  KAORU hit Excalibur for a near fall and tagged in
Satomura.  Satomura attempted a DVB, but Aska fought her off and hit a screw bomb for
a near for.  Ozaki beat on Satomura as Aska had a chair around KAORU's head and
choked her with it until Sonoko Kato ran in to save her.  There's a few near fall segments
with powerbombs by Oz/Aska.  Kato has enough of Aska and Oz using weapons and
breaks up one pin attempt.  Oz avoids a KAORU chainshot which hits Satomura.  Oz hits
the Tequila Sunrise to ge the win as  Aska cuts off KAORU.  Post match, Lioness talks
some shit.

Aja Kong/Chikayo Nagashima v. Toshi Uematsu/Chigusa Nagoya:  Satomura and
KAORU accompany the GAEA team, looking the worse for wear and a bit disappointed.
Aja wants Chigusa at the start, but Toshi refuses to not start the match.  Aja blows her off
letting Chikayo start.  Chikayo charges and runs into a german suplex for a 7 second win
for Team GAEA.  The invading Super Star Unit is in shock.  Post match, Uematsu talks
some shit on the mic.  Aja replies to it and then decks Toshi.  We've got a pull apart as the
SSU hit the ring and the GAEA gals hit the ring.  Mita and Shimoda join up with the SSU.
Sato and Nagashima empty Aja's cans filled with powder in the ring, leaving a clowd of
dust in the ring.  Aja assaults people with the cans and chairs as Lioness takes Chigusa
outside and chains her to the railing so she can watch the Super Stars do a double railing
ride onto her entire roster.  This is what the NWO angle should have been.  The NWO
invades and GAEA gets unified to fight them off instead of rolling over and getting boned
for the next two years.  I dunno how happy I would have been about being there for a 7
second main event, but the angle that followed seamed pretty good.

Overall.  I thought this was a pretty strong show.
 

#$#$#$#$# AAA 2/21/99
(DEAN RASMUSSEN)
AAA is the stuff I usually don’t kill to get a hold of like I do EMLL, but we came into a
big wad of AAA and we all wanted to see what was packing’em in Mexico these days.
The results were more surprising than good on this first section of giant hunk of Tony
Penamania.

Martha Villalobos/ La Venus/ La Briosa vs Alda Moreno/ Linda Star/ Princesa Sujei:
Martha Villalobos does a Dump Matsumoto gimmick but it comes off more as a Latin
Eagle Sawai- as she can’t quite muster the sheer sinister menace of our gal Dump- but she
is quite portly like Dump in her prime and that counts for something I would think.  Alda
Moreno is the wily veteran and you remember her from endless unwatchable matches from
Jd’- The Early Years- so if these matches are unwatchable now- and they do have a real
Jd’ 97 feel to them, then the AAA Ladies Division should totally kick ass in 2001 like Jd’
kicks ass now.  Linda Star is a hotty and she seems to be good little worker- as does
Princesa Sujei ( who may also be reg’lar brickhouse but she wears a mask so you can’t
REALLY be sure (not that is matters really)) though they each botch an elaborate head
scissors and armdrag respectively, though La Venus and La Briosa weren’t the greatest
support for such ambitous spots.  When they keep it simple, this was perfectly fine lucha
libre: the technicos were cute and spunky, the rudos were horribly dressed in tattered
dayglo, they did an Estrella, and they made with the goofy comedy spots.  They only did
one fall for some reason.  AAA is pushing for a fullblown ladies division so I’m all over it.
Godspeed! my reinas de reinas! or something.

Payasos: Coco Rojo/ Coco Amarillo/ Coco Azul/ Coco Negro vs Los Vatos Locos:
Picudo/ Nygma/ Charly Manson/ May Flowers:  Oh holy nuts!  CLOWNS! And they
aren’t even EVIL CLOWNS!  See, this is the reason I don’t dig AAA.  They were the
ones that changed the guys under the gimmicks when the guys went to EMLL or Promo
Azteca- what with Super Psicosis, AAA Abismo, AAA Venum, La Parka Jr.  Hell.  These
may not be the actual Payasos of yore.  These could be the frickin’ Pandilleros under those
nightmare feuling masks.  I wanted to go ahead and finish this by just saying that Los
Vatos Locos suck and May Flowers is SO not Escarlotta Pimpernella, but then after an
seemingly endless passage of time in this match where they basically stood around, did
some sub-Luger vs Sid brawling, did some pedestrian triple teaming by Los Vatos and
waited for the next crappy comedy spot, there was LIGHT AT THE END OF THE
TUNNEL!  Coco Azul and Nygma opt to start making it a batch of lucha as they start an
actual match.  After this they kinda hit upper echelon WWO 1996-level of really okay
armdrags and headscissors, with low grade highspots thrown in.  Sure this match sucked,
but it was so much less hopeless than what I was expecting coming into it.  The creepy
midget clown probably sealed this baby’s fate actually.  No... more... clowns.....
please........

Espectro Jr. vs Pedro Aguayo Jr:  Espectro Jr was one of my favorite midcard guys in
EMLL, as he and Cadaver were really good at rudoing it up with AstroRey Jr, Ultraman
Jr and the assorted Solars and the ilk in some of the best fundamentally true to form Lucha
you’ll ever see.  Pedro Aguayo Jr was at one time grouped with Juventud, Rey and Psic as
the new luchadores to watch- but then things went awry as Juventud, Rey and Psic
hooked up with Promo Azteca and had already figured out that hanging out with Ultimo
Dragon was the way to go, while Aguayo kinda sat around Mexico and listened to his dad,
Perro, a whole bunch.  “Wear the bad boots” he’d say.  So instead of becoming
world-class luchadores like Juvie, Rey and Psic, Pedro became the Mexican equivalent of
David Sammartino Jr.  Anyway, this match was good in spots , crappy in spots and overall
pretty underwhelming for a singles match.  The first caida is good as it is basically
armdrags and headscissors setting up decent lowgrade lucha matwork as Aguayo works
on Espectro’s leg and Espectro goes for a lucha Cross Armbreaker.  The workrate is
really high and psychology is pretty solid and the need for superfluous highspots is
avoided throughout, so I’m digging the old school aspects of this caida.  Pedro hits the
worst dropkick ever and does a double stomp to get the first caida. So far, so kinda good.
The second caida is little weirder and even less high-impact as Espectro gets in a lot of
lowgrade rudo offense.  He does the really great freaked out lucha guard position as he
sits like a genie and counters all of Pedros offense out of the sitting position which was
weird enough to work in my book.  Pedro hits the biggest highspot of the match- a
vertical suplex- and uses it to set up a series of hip tosses.  Espectro gets to the finish of
the second caida hitting a bunch of inring topes to set up a Lucha abdominal stretch
variation to take the second fall.  I’m starting to dig the Puerto Rican feel of the
highspotless lucha so- so far, so good.  The third caida falls to pieces after a good
beginning where Espectro works a Fujiwara armbar into an Octapus Hold some how.
Pedro reverses it into a Camel Clutch with a Sleeper thrown in to make it look even more
of the superlucha finisher but Aguayo breaks the hold for whatever reason and they go
into some of the most listless and lethargic roll-ups I’ve personally ever seen and Aguayo
hits a nifty tope.  Pedro hits his crappy finisher and goes for the second security stomp
when Picudo (Espectro’s second) trips him from under the bottom rope.  Espectro gets
the schoolboy for the pin, Perro runs in to a gargantuan pop and a batch of stinkiness is set
up.  I dunno.  Alot of this match worked on it’s own terms.  Espectro tried to instill a lot
of psychology and neither were embarrassing until the final caida.  The problem is that if
you’ve been following lucha for the last five years you can only compare Pedro Aguayo’s
matches to Psic, Juvie and Rey since they were grouped together way back when and
guess who gets amazingly smoked.  This was a really okay Invader I vs El Profe match,
but it doesn’t reach the same solar systen as Juventud vs Kidman, Rey vs Eddy or Psic/
Villano IV vs El Hijo del Santo/ LaParka.  You can say Espectro is midcard at best and
that the other three are in with the best in the entire business and I’d say that’s the whole
point.

El Octagon/ Heavy Metal/ El Alebrije vs Los Vipers: El Pentagon/ Electro Shock/
Kickboxer:  Boy!  El Alebrije has the craziest outfit in the world on.  It’s kinda like the
Creature From The Black Lagoon but in flourescent shades of hot pink, electric blue and
an odd kinda purple with these boss leather demon wings.  He stinks pretty much in the
ring though- but his outfit so over the top that it can’t help but be absolutely top drawer.
Heavy Metal and Kickboxer do all the cool stuff in this match as Kickboxer is a nifty little
number that young Canello can guide along quite nicely to some Sayama-esque spots.
Electro Shock has the cool ass Hannibal Lechter get up and takes some upper echelon
bumps- not Violencia or anything, but nothing to sneer at: a real Zumbido Lite in the
bump department.  Octagon and Pentagon have been mailing it in since 1995 at the latest
so WELCOME TO NOTHING.  Actually, El Alebrije did a cool toprope tope.  Miss
Janeth does a run-in and foules Pentagon and it’s all over and I wanna die.  Oh well,
Kickboxer is good.

Get that EMLL.  It has Black Warrior.  And Mr Niebla.  Or get the AAA with Gran
Apache.  Not this one. Nope.
 

&*&*&*&*&* FMW 9/19/92 COMM TAPE (Kawasaki Stadium)
(POGO PETE STEIN!)
This was FMW's annual "Fall Spectacular" which drew 30,000+ to Kawasaki Stadium.
This one's quite the weird-ass show, especially when you see some of the folks on it and
how far they had(n't) come (and how far they'd fallen in some cases), but you also get
what AFAIK was the first salvo in the AJW interpromotional wars.  Most matches are
highlights only.

SUDDEN IMPACT (CHRIS JERICHO/KEVIN HOULE) v. EIJI EZAKI/KOJI
NAKAGAWA:
"Canadian Males!  Canadian Males!  Canadian Males!  Canadian Males! Canadian Males!
Canadian Males!  Canadian Males!"  And the weirdness begins right off the bat.  Houle
I've never heard of- his whole act  appears to be waiting outside for a tag from Jericho and
yelling "WHOO!" at the crowd here and there.  Ezaki looks good, pulling off a nice
moonsault and working some solid spots with Jericho.  Sudden Impact wins with a double
missile dropkick off the same turnbuckle on Ezaki for the pin at 10:12.  Wish I could've
seen more of Ezaki- he seems to have dropped off the map after 1993 or so.

MIWA SATO/ KUMIKO MATSUDA/ YOSHIKA MAEDOMORI/ ERIKO TSUCHIYA
vs. RIE NAKAMURA /YUKIE NABENO/ EMI KOIZUMI/ YUMIKO
KOMATSUZUKI:  Shark and  Crusher are going by their real surnames and have yet to
discover the joy of cutting up young women more attractive than they are.  About the
most interesting part of this match is a brief crowd shot of what appears to be some of the
JWP squad in the front row, including Ozaki.  Shark gets the win with a powerbomb on
either Koizumi or Komatsuzuki- at 19:00, kudos to BMG's editors for cutting this down
to maybe 2:00.

SHOJI NAKAMAKI vs. SABU:  Not sure what the deal is with the quickie segment on
Nakamaki before this match, complete with "inspirational"  music as he works out in the
ring before the show, but it's BEYOND weird seeing him before his forehead began to
resemble a coin-holder.  Sabu pretty much nukes him from the start, suplexing him to the
floor and hitting a quebrada before telling him to "get up, you cocksucker!" Nakamaki
comes back with some headbutts but Sabu cuts him off, tosses him back outside and hits a
tope con hilo.  Sabu throws him back in, hits a pair of moonsaults and gets the pin at just
2:37.  Postmatch Nakamaki finds Onita and Tarzan Goto backstage and probably says
something to the effect of "I am filled with shame."  Did the fans get their money back for
witnessing a Nakamaki match where he didn't juice?

AMIGO ULTRA/ ULTRAMANCITO vs. VOLTANIANS 1 & 2:  The Voltanians do an
alien gimmick, complete with claws and "Big Head" masks- oh yeah, one of them is a
midget who can't quite keep his mask on.  Ultramancito beats the Voltanian midget at
10:37 with a Romero Special- I have nothing else to say about this match that is either
true or relevant.

KICKBOXING RULES: KATSUJI UEDA vs. SAMART LOOKMATULEE:  It's Katsuji
Ueda, Grumpy Old Kickboxer.  Don't know whether this was a shoot or a work, and
taking the time to find out would imply that I gave a rat's ass about either of these guys.  ;)
Lookmatulee by TKO in the 5th round after he drops Ueda three times.  Wasn't quite
K-1... more like Lame-0.

STREETFIGHT ELIMINATION DEATH MATCH:  BIG TITAN/ THE GLADIATOR/
HORACE BOULDER vs. SAMBO ASAKO/ RICKY FUJI/ GREAT PUNK:  This one's a
must-see just for the shot of Ricky Fuji hitting the ring in his ice-cream suit and making a
big show out of adjusting his tie.  Gaijin team comes out rednecking it up and we're off.
The natives pretty much get their business suit-attired asses handed to them the whole
way.  We get the federally-mandated "stadium streetfight spot" as Sambo and Gladiator
make their way up onto the floor spotlight tower and brawl on it.  Other than that the
match is basically folks walking all over the floor chairing each other and juicing.  Gaijin
eventually win 3-0 as Punk and Sambo get KO'ed off two Titan powerbombs, then they
beat the snot out of Fuji until the ref stops the match at 11:49.  Japanese all get stretchered
out and the gaijin have a few laughs at their expense before looking for a subway train so
they can detonate their poison gas bomb.

EXHIBITION MATCH:  KILLER KOWALSKI (68) vs. JOHN TOLOS (61):  Oh dear.
There's no way I could possibly run down this match without inserting a snide "WCW just
signed them to three-year deals" joke of some sort, so I'll just say that it was really bad and
they actually worked a 10-minute draw without suffering heart attacks or breaking their
hips.  Zach, was this the match that got you hooked on FMW?  ;)

BULL NAKANO/AKIRA HOKUTO vs. COMBAT TOYOTA/MEGUMI KUDO:
SWEET JESUS!  Talk about going from one polar extreme to the other!  FMW team
jumps at the bell but Hokuto comes back with some stiff slaps on Kudo and Bull gives her
a CANNON of a lariat that had Tatsuhito Takaiwa going, "Now THAT'S sick."  Combat
comes in and has a staredown with Bull, and before long everyone's brawling all over the
floor.  Kudo enters the ring long enough to charge across and hit a tope on the AJW team.
FMW sends Bull back inside and they try to suplex her, but Bull no-sells it and reverses it.
Hokuto comes in and takes Combat's head off with a kick, then adds a missile dropkick.
Having finished with Combat, they decide that Kudo hasn't gotten enough of a beating yet
and they turn their attention to her.  They work her over until she comes back with a pair
of body-presses and tags out.  Combat puts Hokuto in the Torture Rack for about a
minute, then spins around and gives her the old "copter slam" move.  Now she picks
Hokuto up and holds her in the Splash Mountain position so Kudo can give her a diving
face-crusher for 2.  Bull comes in, whips Kudo to the ropes and hits her with a cool
Northern Lights suplex, then moves out of the way so Hokuto can hit a top-rope splash
for 2.  Combat goes up top for something, but Hokuto dropkicks her to the floor, goes up
top and hits her rolling bodyblock to the floor on Combat.  Finally, Hokuto hits the NLB
on Combat while Bull hits the Guillotine Legdrop on Kudo for the pin at 13:54.
Postmatch Bull and Hokuto get on the mic and talk about how the FMW girls are weak,
their kung-fu sucks and they probably even like DVDVR Foghat.  This was freakin'
awesome and the crowd was going apeshit for everything here, but it was edited down to
something like 3 minutes of clips.  This is especially disappointing in light of...

WORLD MARTIAL ARTS TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP:  TARZAN GOTO/
GREGORY BERITCHEV vs. LEON SPINKS/BRIAN THEODILL:  It's almost like that
last match never took place now.  This is VERY bad.  I remember bringing the magazines
to work from the 5/93 Kawasaki show once, and all of the black guys I worked were
really saddened by the thought that the former heavyweight champion of the world had
been reduced to working on wrestling shows... after watching Goto no-sell Leon's
punches by banging his own head against the turnbuckle, I think they may have had a
point.  Leon's partner Theodill (who???) is just horrible and has no idea how to sell
anything Beritchev and Goto try to do.  Completing the joke, Goto beats Theodill with a
Torture Rack at 10:39 of a match that went 10 minutes too long IMO.  Postmatch Goto
smashes the losers' trophy (the losers being Spinks and Theodill, not the poor schmuck
who booked this turd).

NO-ROPE EXPLODING BARBED-WIRE DEATH MATCH:  TIGER JEET SINGH vs.
ATSUSHI ONITA:  *Incredible* visual for Onita's introduction, as all of the lights in the
stadium go out exactly at the same time.  You have to see it for yourselves, but it's an
amazing effect.  Of course, they have to ruin it by sending Singh out there to wrestle.
Onita attacks Singh as he enters the ring, but Singh comes back by using his sword on
Onita and quickly sends him into the barbed-wire for an explosion less than a minute in.
Singh continues to use the sword on Onita and soon backs him into the wire for a second
explosion, at which point he finally tosses the sword to Sabu at ringside.  Singh spends the
next several minutes beating the crap out of Onita like the guy screwed him on a real
estate deal until he finally goes into his tights and pulls out another object, at which point
Onita punches him and goes on the attack.  SINGH JUICES!  That's the closest thing to
selling I've ever seen him do!  Sabu tries to pass Singh his sword again, but Onita takes
advantage and sends Singh into the wire for a half-assed explosion.  Onita hits a DDT and
pins Singh with the TFPB at 13:57 to regain the World Martial-Arts title.  Singh comes
back and beats the crap out of Onita, the ref, Goto, Ezaki and even Sabu just in case we
were still savoring the memories of him actually juicing and taking bumps.

Hoo boy... one hit in the AJW/FMW tag, and a whole bunch o' misses. Definitely some
novelty value here and there, particularly in the Portrait of The Artist as A Young
Jerichoholic and the "Monday Nitro Pills" match, but buyer beware...
 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
NEXT WEEK: Foghat splooges over AAA.  Naimark rambles about Brazilian women
with one hand on the remote.  Schneider drops to pathetic depths as he gawks at
Yoshida’s ass again.  Rippa concocts dubious analysis of the impact of Brian Adias on the
modern era of professional era.

COMING SOON: THE WEST COAST INDIE ANALYSIS OF APW (which Idol
supplied) and WPW (which Tom supplied a virtual MOUNTAIN of).  GEAR UP!

DVD HOLLENDAISE- THREE FISTS IN THE FACE OF WRESTLING.

It’s so hard to love someone who don’t love you- it look like it ain’t satisfaction, don’t
care what you do.
          -DEATH LETTER by SON HOUSE, the greatest artist America ever produced.

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