#$#$#$# 1980's ALL JAPAN WOMEN VOL 23

This tape is GREAT! It has all your favorites back when they all young and green and sporting REALLY comical early 80's hairstyles.

Jaguar Yokota vs. Galactica-hair vs. mask match: This was fabulous. Galactica is from Mexico and they basically keep it on the mat and since all your faves of today were trained by Jaguar, you can imagine how proficient she is when it comes to tres cool pressure and submission holds. Monster Ripper, the future Bertha Faye of WWF fame, was actually thinner back then and could work a little. She's the head of the evil Mexican contigent and she cheats all the way through the match for her silver masked compadre. The main psychology of the match is that nobody had the heart to tell Jaguar that the Farrah Fawcett-Majors super-feathered look is SO 1978, so they conspire with the ref to make sure that Ripper is allowed to cheat enough to get Galactica the win so they can do something about her HAIR. The stylish and sensible Mexican's give her a very Eighties-ish Bonnie Tyler circa "Total Eclipse of the Heart" era neo-Rod Stewart Shag cut and everybody is relieved and Jaguar can continue creating her legend without fear of embarrassment. Great Match!

Yukon Erika vs. Kamako Nagatemo: Yukon Erika is a roided out American or Canadian or European woman or something, but works pretty well with the spunky Nagatemo- whop rolls her up a lot and tries lotsa stuff for Erika to no-sell. I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH ELSE!! YEP!!

Bull Nakano, Condor Saito vs. Yumi Ogura, Kami Nagahori: HEY!! Bull Nakano was punky and hot when she crating Dump Matsumoto's gargantuan hinder around. Condor is pretty hot too for the same reason- mo-hawks, slutty make-up, weapons- and I was wasting away in high school in Virginia when my really hot possible promdates were carving up Kami Nagahori in Japan. AJW was so NASTY back then. It was GREAT!

Chigusa Nagayo vs. Yukari Omori for WWWF Title: This is fabulous. Omori looks like an even more-demented Joan Crawford at points in this match, as she has to take a whuppin to drop the belt to the young and irritatingly-over future Mega-star that was Chigusa. Chigusa kicks the hell out of her by the end and does a lot of nifty suplexes. Omori consoles herself in the fact that, sooner or later, Dump Matsumoto is gonna beat the holy crap out of the little snotnosed upstart and she'll get to watch.

Devil Masami, Tarantula vs. Yukari Omori, Jumbo Hori: Seeing Devil in this match from 80's, I guess Masami was born old.

Monster Ripper, Itsuki Yamazaki vs. Lioness Asuka, handicap match: Ripper looks great in this as she conducts the economy-sized ass-kicking that other Crush Gal receives. She hits some neato eighties spots from the toprope and Asuka looks like she is about to succumb to the horrible, impossible odds. Unfortunately, GAEA was the promotion that introduced the novel idea of having the one wrestler lose to the other two and that wouldn't be around for another ten years, so Lioness finds a way get the unlikely pin on Yamazaki, despite the gargantuan cheating by Ripper.

Dump Matsumoto vs. Devil Masami: Dump beats the shit outta Devil and we get to watch! Dump had- BARNONE- the coolest ring entrance in the history of ANYTHING. There is no way to stress this enough. It was like something out of Apocalypse Now, but more violent and psychosexual. I loved the underlings of Dump beating everybody's ass at ringside as they carry her to the ring. Untouchably Cool. Masami gets in some offense and the great thing is that they do some toprope superplexes and FOUR ringgirl trainees have to help get Dump's gargantuan carcass into position. This was GREAT!

Penny Mitchell, Jean Kirkland vs. Hisako Uno, Mitsuko Nishiwaki: HEY! Future FireJet Nishiwiki (like I didn't look THAT up on Hisa's page:)) gets to wrestle Jean Kirkland, who saw the A-Team and said, "Mr. T has got something happening and now with that tripendicular haircut. I'll go one further and dye it WACKY colors." It's a DQ or something and YOU CANNOT LOOK AWAY. Trust me.

Devil Masami, Noriyo Tateno, Yukari Omori vs. Condor Saito, Dump, Galactica: No one ever had a chance against Dump, because even if you win the match, she has smoked you like a cheap cigar by the time her entrance ends so much that you might as well give up let her stab you in the head and pin you.

Jackie Sato vs. Monster Ripper: Jackie Sato (who retired in '81 ((BOY! this tape makes you basically memorize Hisa's page.:)))) rules it hard in this as she busts up Ripper real bad. Jackie kicks her ass in an old school way and even the mountain of interference from Galactica can't save Ripper from the wrath of Sato.

Jackie Sato vs. Chambre Romero: They take it to the mat. Romero looks to be about 57, so this isn't too good. Jackie whomps ass.

Devil Masami vs. Princess Mohawk(Sandy Parker), wrestler vs. boxer: I can't watch these kind of matches. They turn my stomach. Princess Mohawk has a comical DeNiro-esque circa Taxi Driver Mohawk. The thought of Wendy Orleans Williams drives me to fast forward even faster.

Crush Gals vs. Jaguar Yokota, Devil Masami TWICE!: These are freaking classics. Believe the hype about Jaguar and believe the hype about the Crush Gals. This is beautiful as it goes from submission to highflying to pro style back to shootstyle stuff. This had to be a prototype match for what was to come when the second wave of AJW arrived, because this pops off the tape as being a new way of doing a match. No heel tactics or knitting needles to the head, just hardcore wrestling. Devil Masami rounds out the cast.

Bull Nakano vs. Yumika Hotta: This is fun, just because future Ultimate BadAss, Yumiko Hotta, goes crying like a little sissy-pants just because Bull STABS HER IN THE ARM WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE. Wotta Pansy. It goes downhill from there.

Bull Nakano, Kumiko Iwamoto vs. Fire Jets (Yumiko Hotta & Mitsuko Nishiwaki): Iwamoto might have been hottest of the Hard and Surly Ladies of Dump Matsumoto- having the raddest make-up and surliest attitude- sort of a prototypical Mima Shimoda. Nakano stabs Hotta in the arm again and they all kick the crap outta each other. Nakano hits a Fantabulous rolling guillotine and Hotta shows the ass-stompingness that will surface later in her career as she hits a stiff as hell powerbomb.

Chigusa Nagayo vs.Noriyo Tateno: Maybe it was Tateno that looked like Joan Crawford by the end of this match. It's all blurring together in a big wad of eightiesness- and I'm digging it the most.

Lioness Asuka vs. Chigusa Nagayo: This is freaking awesome as they kick the hell out of each other. Asuka starts in early- kicking and suplexing the hell out of her fellow Crush Gal and doesn't let up until Chigusa can't answer the count. This is also not like anything else on this tape in that it resembles the hard wrestling in the ring that would define AJW in the late eighties/early 90's, though it gets pretty theatrical at the end. This is a true thing of beauty.

Fire Jets vs. Bull Nakano, Dynamite Jack: HEY! Dynamite Jack! That's Combat Toyoda and somehow I knew that! My guess: Quebrada! She is 12 years old in this match, it looks like, and she was real green. Hotta kicks her a lot and Nakano does lotsa nun-chuk based things to make this ultra-fabulous. Hotta gets cheesed at Bull again, but doesn't whine Ohtani-like in this one.:) GET ALL THIS! I MEAN ALL THIS!

*&*&*&*& ALL JAPAN WOMEN TV 8/10/97 $%$%$%$% JWP TV 8/97

Tim came over and we watched large wads of Women's wrestling- if just to gaze at the little pants of Shimoda and bust on the chub of Kyoko Inoue, but luckily, Quebrada Mike supplied the goods with these tapes and we reaped the wrestling rewards. We watched the JWP Plum Mariko tribute show which kicked off with a really, really good Chigusa vs Mariko match from 1994. They showed this match to show how good she was on the mat because her counters to Chigusa's submission attempts are pretty breathtaking. Mariko busts Chigusa up and stomps her from pillar to post and stays one step ahead of the, I guess, then-newly unretired Chigusa, and then sells and takes bumps for the future founder of GAEA. Mariko was a great worker and this was a great match.

Next up, we watched the Dynamite Kansai/Motoya vs Cutie Suzuki/^^^^^ OMIGOD! What the HELL is Commander Boirshoi WEARING!?! It's kind of a camouflage tight spandex outfit with stars and wings and medals on the mask and, of course, the clown nose that says "KICK ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN." Tim and I debate which would be more humiliating to wear, the Boirshoi get-up or the Chivas Goatboy outfit. I say Boirshoi in a walk. Kansai doesn't bust up the clown nearly enough, but she does do the hilarious senton onto the clown and the cute one, following up on the lucha leanings of JWP co-saving grace Motoya. Kansai hits a murderous dangerous backdrop on Cutie and... ARRGH! The ending is too unspeakable to think of, much less, reveal to you now.

Candy Okutsu finishes her retirement tour with a match against Hikari Fukuoka and Candy finishes in grand style, hitting every spot she knows in this, her final match. Candy always was the cutest lil gal in JWP and I'll miss her innate spunkiness. After whooping up on the champ for awhile she gets on the mic to tell Fukuoka that she needs to try harder or something and so Hikari gets up and beats the crap out of her. This was a good match. Hikari is the Queen. They give Candy a big sendoff full of flowers and tears. It's been a great run, lil Candy.

Cutie Suzuki and Aja Kong then take a shot at Fukuoka and Yumi Fukawa and this baby rocks me like a hurricane. Aja gets all stiff and Hikari takes it and gives it all back, making Aja pay the ultimate price by nailing her with a SWANK moonsault double stomp, right in the store! Cutie is so much cuter than talented, but she hits a couple of neat little mid-grade things. Fukawa resumes her roll from AJW in that she takes a big beating at the hands of her elders and doesn't get much offense in. The Hikari/Aja segments made one long for a Fukuoka vs Aja match, of better yet a feud. That would be choice! Hell! It would have to be a zillion times better than Shark Tsuchiya/Aja. This free agent Aja could start ruling WAY too seriously. I await the Chigusa/Aja match that Glenn raved about. WOO-HOO!

We then watched the tag match from the AJW 8/10 TV show- the infamous Fire Extinguisher/Fire alarm match and GOLLY! does this WAYY too much fun. First Shimoda comes out and makes me... feel... funny.... by wearing the Tiny Pants That Slew A Nation and Mita comes out looking to kick some ass in a saucy way also. Dateless, Kyoko Inoue calls up her pal, Aja and they decide break wild on them and the absolute mayhem did ensue. Shimoda gets the advantage early by beating the hell out of Aja with a chair and throwing her through the audience. Kyoko mixes it up like she's been there before, by giving Mita chairshots that say, "I'm a free agent and the cutesy crap is over." After some wild brawling throughout Kouraken, they finally get it into the ring and they continue to beat the hell out of each other with all the furniture in the area. Aja and Kyoko drag both Ultra-Vixens into the ring and they both do that little dance that Kyoko does before doing the Romero Special. Aja shaking her groove thang is so.... disturbing. After that brief respite they get back to beating the crud outta each other. Kyoko secretly harbors a belief that- if but for the goofy outfit- she too could be the legit queen of the gimmicks deathmatch, just like Mayumi Ozaki, and goes head first into the realm of chairshots and strangleholds. Mita and Shimoda get the upperhand again after trying to throw Aja off the balcony, in one of the more choice moments in the bout, and they start laying into Kyoko. Aja comes back to ringside with a fire extinguisher and creates a huge mist that gags the audience and adds to the general allure of the match. Aja hits the truly fabulous piledriver on the table and Shimoda is not a happy camper, all this as the fire alarms go off. They then hit the fifteen minutes of beautiful finishers which, of course, don't finish anything, much to Tim's chagrin. Finally, Kyoko sets up Shimoda and Aja hits the Uracane to end the reign of terror. This baby had everything in small doses except for the FMW level brawling which they had in large doses. Anyway, I loved this match just because you never get to see Aja and Kyoko get in these kinda brawls and it was a good one and I was digging it the most. Shimoda. Shimoda. Shimoda. Mima. Mima. Mima.

QuebradaMike says Toyota/Ito is the Women's match of the year so far, so I definately need to watch that this week off of this, so consider this a partial review (because its a partial review). I'll give you the full rundown so I can DEFINATELY give my overwhelming seal of approval.

NEXT WEEK: I go back to WORK! I shuffle papers! I yammer about the UPN sitcom line-up with women at work who actually watch it! TOYOTA vs ITO! OHTANI vs KANEMOTO (if the Glenn tapes gets here in time!) ALL JAPAN! ALL JAPAN! ALL JAPAN! WOO-HOO! KICK ASS! AWESOME!

NANIWA~!

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